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It's the brownies. Don't ask me why or how, but I have a very strong feeling that it's these brownies. Maybe they're cursed. Maybe it's like Adam and Eve and the apple. Do you think they would have bothered with an apple if they had brownies? Is that even a question? Obviously they'd go for brownies, and if they did maybe we'd be in an even worse situation now. If you get kicked out of the Garden of Eden for eating an apple, what do you think happens if you're in there and you eat a brownie instead?
Don't ask me how they'd get a brownie in the Garden of Eden. Seriously, I have no idea. I mean, a lot of the ingredients that go into making brownies come from plants that could conceivably be grown in the Garden of Eden. It's the Garden of Eden, so I'm pretty sure God can grow whatever he wants in there. Maybe instead of regular milk they could use almond milk, and apple sauce instead of oil.
It could definitely work, and I'm glad it never happened, because the Adam and Eve stuff is bad enough as it is. Original sin is a conversation for another time and day, though. For now, we're talking about Maddy's brownies.
We're about halfway through Safe Haven by the time we finish up with the pizza and french fries. It's a slow process and we're just enjoying ourselves. I haven't watched a movie like this in a long time, and I haven't spent time with Maddy in… a long time. I'm not sure where I'm going with that one, but suffice to say the food is gone, the movie's halfway over, and Maddy and I are sitting on opposite ends of the couch, staring at the screen, paying attention.
That's the plan, at least. I think that's always going to be Maddy's plan, and it should be my plan, but I find myself sparing quick glances her way. She pulled her feet up onto the couch, her legs tucked towards her body. She's kind of half laying on the couch, or at least her lower body is, and she's got her cheek resting on her arm, elbow propped up on the armrest.
Which is like… so this isn't crazy or anything. To be honest, I'm probably the crazy one. My sidelong glances mostly involve me checking out Maddy's legs. She's got her shoes off, but socks on, and I can see her toes curl every now and then. If I follow her foot up to her calf, I get a perfect glimpse of… I mean, she's wearing pants, so it's not like this is scandalous. I just like looking at Maddy's calf, alright? I don't know what you want me to tell you.
And then up. Her thigh. She has the most grabbable looking thigh in the world. I can literally reach out right now if I want, just wrap my fingers around her thigh, pull her legs apart, and then I don't know what because she's wearing pants and this girl is my chaste and pure stepsister. I'm not even going there. Not even after she confessed to me about her dream last night. It's just a dream and it doesn't mean anything, so I'm not sure why I'm daydreaming about it right now, but I am.
This is kind of an afterthought, because it's not the most obvious thing at first, but sometimes Maddy takes these quick, deep breaths. Usually when something interesting is happening on the screen. There's tension building between the characters, or exciting stuff is about to go down. We're halfway through the movie, so it's getting a little more intense, too. I'm not going to spoil the movie for you, so you're going to have to watch it on your own, but a lot of stuff goes down.
So, here we are, Maddy breathing in, a quick little hitch of her breath, and the way she's positioned on the couch, I have a perfect view of her breasts. Most of the side of one, then the front, and a backdrop from the other. She inhales sharply, her back arching slightly, her breasts pushing up, and then as quick as it started, she exhales and everything's back to normal again.
Basically my thoughts are this:
If Maddy were naked. If. She's not. I need to clarify that. This is an extremely hypothetical situation that's never going to happen, because it's just not. I'm having issues right now, but I'm going to get over it. Today's just been a rough day.
Anyways… if Maddy were naked, I could easily pull her foot into my lap. I could massage it, maybe even kiss up along it. I could leave a trail of kisses from the top of her foot, around and up her calf. I could grab her thigh and spread her legs, teasing kisses in between, back and forth, leg to leg, until I reached the center, the core of her body, and…
I imagine that same quick, hitched breath as my mouth presses against her lower lips. Her back arches, pushing her breasts up, and I lick and tease and kiss her in a way she's never been kissed before. Little, quick inhales, up and down, her breasts bouncing above my head as she breathes harder and I bury my tongue between her–
“Declan?” Maddy asks, looking at me as I stare off into space. “Are you alright? Did I get something on my shirt?”
Which, you know, apparently I'm staring at Maddy's breasts while I daydream about devouring her pussy and tasting every last inch of her virgin body with my tongue.
“I think it's a shadow?” I say with a shrug. “Looked like pizza sauce, maybe, but I don't see it anymore.”
Maddy looks down at her shirt, seemingly oblivious. I don't know if she actually is or if she's giving me the benefit of the doubt. Either way, I'm good. I appreciate it. Thanks, Maddy, or thanks, God, or thanks to whoever doesn't want me to go to Hell. Maybe an angel? I have no idea. I need to curb my carnal desires, though. I was doing so good back in seminary but it's like I've immediately reverted or something as soon as I got home.
It's frustrating. It's not just sexually frustrating. It's frustrating to know that you want to have control over a certain aspect of your life, but no matter what you do it seems uncontrollable. I don't want to have these thoughts. I mean, yeah, at the time, the thoughts seem good. And then afterwards?
I feel guilty. I feel so incredibly guilty that it hurts. It's even worse because Maddy's involved. If it was just some random girl, I'd feel bad, but I wouldn't feel, uh… I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. Maddy makes me feel like I could be an incredible person, but she also unintentionally makes me feel like I'm the scum of the earth.
It's my fault, not hers. I know this, but I also don't know what to do about it. It's easier to fix a problem when it has nothing to do with you. It's harder when the problem invades everything you think you are.
“I was thinking…” Maddy says, trailing off, giving me a silly smirk, her eyes shifting back and forth.
For some reason this is sexy as hell. What were you thinking, Maddy? Thinking about my mouth between your thighs? Or my cock? Thinking about what it'd feel like for me to give you an explosive orgasm, your very first, and if it'd be worth it? Thinking of–
“We've still got that entire tray of brownies,” she says, devious and cute. “Do you want some?”
Yeah, that has nothing to do with any of what I mentioned before. Obviously. Brownies are good, don't get me wrong. They're, uh… a little different, though. Not quite the same as orgasms, even if some people might try to disagree.
Brownies also aren't going to get you sent to Hell for all eternity, so I should probably start thinking about those a lot more. Seems safer. Just eat a brownie instead of thinking of Maddy. What could go wrong?
If I ate a brownie every time I wanted to think of Maddy I'd probably gain three-hundred pounds in a matter of a month. I don't know if this is a sustainable solution.
“I'm going to get them!” Maddy says, hopping up off the couch. “You're being really weird, Declan. Why are you so quiet?”
“I'm watching the movie!” I say, indignant.
I say this while watching her ass bounce away from me as she skips out of the open-concept living room and towards the kitchen counter where the brownies are.
“Don't be so snappy, Mr. Grumpy Pants,” Maddy says, looking over her shoulder and wrinkling her nose at me once she's in the kitchen. “I haven't made brownies in forever, so I hope they're good. They smelled good earlier.”
“I know you tasted them,” I tell her.
“I did not!” she says, giving me a shocked look.
“No? You didn't even lick some of the batter from the bowl after?”
“That's not the same,” she says. “It's completely not the same, Declan! That's brownie batter, it's not brownies.”
“I think you're trying to win on a technicality, but I'm not sure that's how it works,” I say. “No lying, Maddy. Nothing good will come of it.”
“Yes, Father Calhoun,” she says, mocking me. “I'm really excited about you taking over for Father Patch, Declan. That's so cool. Do you know what you're going to do for a sermon next Sunday? I can help you out if you want?”
I ignore her sass and focus on the rest. That's actually a great question. And maybe it'll help me keep my mind off of Maddy for the rest of the week. A sermon's important, and since it'll be my first one I'd really like to make a good impression. I honestly have no idea what I'm going to do, though.
“I'm going to have to think about it more,” I tell her. “Father Patch left me some notes, but he kind of decided to be vague. I haven't been around to see his sermons, so I'm not sure what he's talked about recently, but I try to listen to some of the recordings he sends me through email. Like a podcast, you know? I like that kind of thing.”
“That's from me!” she says, gleeful. Maddy hops back to the couch, a plate of brownies in her hands, and plops down right next to me. “I told him it would be fun to put the recordings up on a website so that if someone's sick they can still hear the sermon. We talked about maybe doing a livestream, too. For YouTube, you know? I know it's not very traditional, but I thought maybe it could help. I told him that sometimes people go on vacation or they'll be far away. Like you, Declan. In which case, they don't have to worry about missing church, since it'll all be right there. Or maybe someone might want to listen to a sermon again later, so they can just hop on their computer and… ta da!”
Which is great. I'm listening to her, I really am. Except Maddy's also incredibly close to me right now. Not just a little close, not just sitting right next to me. I can deal with that, and I'm going to have to deal with this, but…
Her thigh touches mine, knee to knee. She leans close to me, our shoulders tight together, too. Between us, on the tops of our touching thighs, she balances the one plate of brownies. There's a bunch of them on there, and it's a pretty good sized plate, but I seriously don't even understand why we have just one, why she's so close, why she–
She catches me looking down at the plate and assumes the best. Not the worst, because I don't know if Maddy knows how to assume the worst. She's always looking for the best in everyone, even when they probably don't deserve it.
Like me. I really don't. I'm sorry, God. Sorry, Maddy, too.
“We only had one clean plate left,” Maddy says, apologetic. “You don't mind sharing, do you? I thought it'd be easier this way so we don't make a mess and leave brownie crumbs on the couch. I don't think Mom and Dad would like that.”
“Yeah, probably not,” I say. I actually don't think my mom would care, because she's not that much of a neat freak, but Maddy's dad would have a few choice words for the both of us. “I guess this is fine.”
“What's wrong?” she asks. “Are you mad at me?”
“Maddy, I'm not mad at you…”
And then something exciting happens in the movie. I have no idea what. I haven't been paying attention since Maddy sat down. She sees it, though. She sees it and she breathes in quick, back arching, breasts popping up. Her arm brushes against mine before sinking back into the couch, and before I fully realize what's going on, my bicep lightly presses into her supple, soft skin. I feel her chest, her breast rising and falling, my arm sinking into her as easily as her arm sank into the back of the couch behind us.
Going to be honest, I prefer Maddy's breasts to the couch. I would sink into them any day, no questions asked.
Except, no! Damn it, Declan! I pull my arm away, but try to remain cool and casual while I do it. I go for a brownie. That's what I'm doing. I'm not pulling my arm away from Maddy's breast, I'm reaching for a brownie.
I pick one up. Any one. I don't even care. There's a few and I grab the one closest to me. I bring it to my lips, bite down on it, chew quickly, and then swallow.
“Are they good?” Maddy asks, picking up a brownie for herself.
There's something about these brownies. I can't quite place it, but it's like I've had them before. It's subtle and not the strongest flavor, but I can tell there's something a little different about them.
“They're good,” I say, finishing my prior thought.
“I used coconut oil,” Maddy says, because apparently I look like I need an explanation. “I think that's why they taste a little different. It's got that sort of coconut oil flavor, right? I think that's what that is.”
“Oh,” I say, nodding. “Yeah, actually. I can taste it. That's probably what it is. They're really good, though. I…”
I take another bite, chew, swallow, and take another one. I'm just going to do that. I'm not going to shoot myself in the foot or say something I shouldn't. I can't, not around Maddy.
I feel like I know where I've tasted this flavor before, but I'm also not about to tell Maddy that. It's also completely untrue in this case. Maddy wouldn't have made brownies like that. It's not like I'm a huge consumer of… brownies… but I admit I went a little wild in my earlier college days, and I may have tried some different snacks now and then.
Look, I'm not going to say it was a good thing. Was it a bad thing? Yeah, probably. Do I regret it? I don't know. I want to move on, become a better person, and if I sit here regretting every single thing I've ever done in my life then I don't see how I can do that.
Just take a deep breath, Declan. In, out, breathe. Watch the movie. Eat another brownie.
Maddy piled the plate with six total, three for each of us. They aren't huge, but they're big enough that it takes a couple bites per piece. We've got about half an hour left in the movie, so we can each savor our brownies, enjoy Safe Haven, and…
I don't know what we're going to do after. Go to bed?
Yes. That's exactly what we do.
So… I had this idea, and I kind of wanted to go with it. Maddy's a good girl, but maybe she accidentally did something bad this time? Except, um… so how did that even happen? That's going to come into play soon, I promise! And some other things are going to cum soon, too. That's a terrible pun. I'm sorry, but not really, because I'm super excited about this, haha.
I'm not sure what's going to happen between these two the next morning, but it could be complicated. We're going to work through this, though! Don't worry, Maddy and Declan! I believe in them. Maybe. I don't know who's going to be more upset about this, him or her. Hmmm…
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