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Did you know Declan is very soft?
The movie's over. It was good. I like Safe Haven. I've seen it before and it's interesting to me. I've never really had a serious boyfriend before, or any boyfriend for that matter. I've been on… a date? Maybe. I don't even know if I can call it that. A lot of the women at church try to set me up with their sons and sometimes I'll go over for dinner because my dad and Declan's mom say it's the nice thing to do.
That's not really a date, though. Is it? If I'm eating dinner with people I go to church with, um… no?
The thing is, it's usually all of us. The woman who invited me, her husband, and then their son who's about my age. Maybe a younger daughter or son sometimes, too. It just depends. Which isn't really a date if you ask me, it's just dinner, and I know that they mean well, but I'm sorry I'm not really interested in dating anyone at the moment, or probably ever, because…
Really, did you know Declan is very soft? After we finished the brownies, I put the plate on the coffee table, but I never ended up moving away from him. We sat side by side, and I don't know if that makes Declan uncomfortable, but that's just silly! He's… he's my stepbrother, so…
Wait. Um. I had a sex dream about him last night, didn't I? Yes…
Which doesn't matter. Nope! It's not like I wanted to. It just kind of happened. I still went to confession about it, but I didn't have to, and…
Father Patch went on vacation. Declan listened to me confess about having a sex dream about him. Um…
Honestly, though, Declan is very soft. The end of the movie is a little rough to watch sometimes. I can imagine some guys like that. Probably Jake, which is why I don't want anything to do with Jake. Declan's not like that, though. He's very soft. So I nuzzle towards him. I'm not cuddling Declan. Maybe I am cuddling Declan. I don't know.
Shhh! We're watching the movie!
Wait, the movie's over. Ummm…
Somehow I've ended up extremely close to Declan. Really, he's quite soft. I press my cheek against his shirt and just kind of stare straight ahead, enjoying his softness against my cheek. Why didn't I ever realize how soft Declan was before? I look up at him and he looks down at me. There's something in his eyes, something in the way he looks at me.
It's not hunger. I'm not scared of Declan. His eyes are soft, too. He's looking at me like I'm the softest thing in the world and he loves me. Which, um, hello! He's my brother–stepbrother–so…
I love him, too, just not in that… or maybe I do, but…
It's impossible. It's always been impossible. It's not going to work for a lot of reasons and I don't think it's something that we can just ignore or skip by or… or whatever, you know?
I don't actually know, that's why I'm asking. Except my brain doesn't seem to be working too well right now. I'm confused, but not in a scary way. I'm confused why Declan's so soft, and why he's looking at me like that, and also I'm pretty sure I'm looking back at him the same way, so maybe that's the reason, and there's just a lot going on right now.
It's really intense considering we just finished watching our movie on Netflix on the TV and nothing's happening anymore except that those screensaver promo things that Netflix uses to show you shows you might like are playing in the background.
No noise. Just me and Declan breathing, and maybe sort of cuddling, and being soft together. That's it, which is actually really nice if I'm being completely honest right now.
I shift to the side a little and my breast brushes up against Declan's shirt. That's… not soft. I don't know what that is.
A spark of something jumps through me. Not the electric kind, but another sort of spark. I recognize it immediately, because it's the same sort of spark I felt in my dream last night.
Declan's arm pushes against the side of my breast, rubbing around to the front as I shift, until his elbow grazes my nipple. I'm wearing a shirt, and accidents happen, but this is a very happy little accident. My nipple immediately grows firm at the slight, inadvertent touch. I kind of want to shift to the side again, back and forth, rub my breast and my nipple against Declan's arm, feel the spark over and over again.
Um, I have no idea where that just came from. What the heck.
Declan looks at me. He knows. He probably doesn't know. How could he know? Just keep calm, Maddy. This is silly. You're being strange right now. It's not a big deal.
Also, my nipple is both firm and firmly pressed against Declan's arm this entire time. I can't seem to move it. It feels nice, and then it would feel amazing if I moved, so I can't move, because I shouldn't be feeling that way, even if once I move I can stop feeling that way, and if I don't move I'm stuck with my breast and my nipple planted tight against Declan's arm.
Obviously I need to say something. So that neither of us will get the wrong idea, right? Yes, of course, so I do that.
“Declan, your lips look really soft,” I say. I… don't think that solves my problem now that I think about it.
“Uh, what?” he asks, licking his lips and pressing them together tight, which…
Is it hot in here or is it just me? I wonder what else Declan's lips can do. They look amazing right now. I need to touch them.
“Can I feel them?” I ask him, sweet, even though I feel anything but sweet right now. I don't mean to, I'm sorry.
“Maddy…” Declan says, a rough, rugged sound rumbling through his throat as he speaks. “I don't… are you alright?”
“Mhm, I'm fine,” I tell him, smiling. “You're very soft, that's all. And your lips look so soft and nice. I just… it's alright, Declan. Don't worry.”
I reach up and touch his lips with the tip of my index finger. He closes his eyes and moans as I trace my fingertip from the center of bottom lip, all the way to the side. I curl up and around, teasing his top lip with my finger, and then back over and around until I'm right where I started.
“See?” I say to him. “Soft.”
Declan tenses and shivers. We're huddled tight together, basically cuddling. His arm is behind me, but not really around me so much as on the back of the couch. I shift a little, the electric sting of something rippling through me as my breast sways and moves against Declan's arm. I hold tight to his bicep with one hand while I grip his forearm with the other, my chest pressing against his arm, and…
I sneak up. While Declan's eyes are still closed, his body trembling at my touch, everything about him feeling wound up and tightened, I sneak up and I touch my lips to his. This is even softer than my finger.
That same sting, the spark that immediately made my nipple hard, it smacks against my lips when I touch them to Declan's. I freeze, startled, and nearly fall back, but I'm holding onto his arm with such strength that I manage to stay with him. I push my lips a little closer to his, a little tighter together, and the spark intensifies. It moves from my lips, to my brain, a jolt slamming into me, and then down to my nipples, my tummy squeezing, muscles I didn't realize I had clenching up, down to… to…
My core, all of me, everything, I feel a distinct and definite spark inside me. It's the beginning, at least, but not the end. The spark multiples, a myriad of beautiful flickering seeds, until they catch, igniting, and a fire roars inside me.
And then we're kissing. My lips aren't just touching Declan's, they're kissing him. He kisses me back. My body moves in ways I never knew I could move. My lips tease and touch his, and he shows me what to do. The sparks keep coming now, but there's a fire alongside them, like a midnight scene with fireworks next to an ever-present bonfire. It's sweet and nice and beautiful, which…
I'm not really thinking about it at the moment. I'm a little busy kissing Declan. If I were thinking about it, I'd realize that this is a very tempting inferno and I don't think it's going to lead to anything good. I can feel myself fall, almost literally. My brain spins and dizziness consumes me.
I'm pretty sure this is what Father Patch warned me about. This is the fall, Maddy; the fall into temptation.
I thought it'd be different. I don't know how. I didn't think it'd be like this. I didn't think it'd be nice. It's not just nice, it's amazing.
I didn't think it'd be with Declan.
I mean, I wanted it to be with Declan, but I knew it could never be, or shouldn't, or wouldn't, or…
I can't. I can't, and that's exactly what I'm doing.
I come completely undone when my tongue slides across Declan's lip and slowly slips past. His tongue meets mine like our tongues are old friends who have just met up with each other again after having not seen each other in a long time. Maybe in a past life, because my tongue's never seen anyone else's tongue like this in my entire life. It knows what to do, though. It knows that Declan's tongue is exactly what it needs right now.
I hold him, my body quaking, and I kiss him. Our tongues dance, slow and sensuous. Everything about this feels so intense and right. I need it. I need to touch him, to kiss him, to hold him.
I was right, by the way. Declan is very soft. His arm is soft, his shirt is soft, his lips are soft. Even his tongue is soft.
I can feel his soul in our kiss, feel how soft and warm it is. It's a good soul. Declan's a good person. There's a little more there, a little roughness around the edges, but no one's perfect. I've sinned before. I… I won't talk about my sins, because I don't think it's very appropriate at the moment. Umm…
Declan and I slip away from each other. That part is natural, too. It just happens, just seems perfect. I open my eyes without realizing I had closed them, and I look at him, sparkling. His eyes gleam like starlight and heaven, looking at me. I hope he felt my soul, too. I hope my soul felt soft and nice to him.
“Maddy, we…” Declan starts to say, but he can't seem to finish his sentence.
It's alright, Declan. I understand. I know. Don't worry.
“Please?” I ask him simply.
I hope he knows. I hope he understands what I'm saying. We're so connected right now, so how can he not?
I'm not sure I should tell you the rest of what happens after that.
It's… it's a story, alright. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… I…
So… something's definitely going on here…
I kind of wanted to do something a little different and put Maddy and Declan in a situation that's slightly beyond their control. They're about to do something bad… or maybe good… or something… haha. Things are happening, at least! There's going to be two issues that pop up pretty shortly the morning after that'll kind of clarify everything more, but for now I think it's easier just to go along with it and see how that goes.
I want things to get crazier, but not too crazy if that makes sense? I also don't want to give too much away there, because there's a reveal that's going to happen which is sort of unexpected, and yeah…
We're getting to that soon, I promise!
I'll see if I can update the next part sooner rather than later. I'm coming to the conclusion of Caleb and Scarlet's story and I've been really excited about finishing that up, so I've been trying to spend extra time on that one. It's so close and I know you're going to love it!
I hope you're enjoying Maddy and Declan's story so far. Keep an eye out for more soon!
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