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One Night Sin – Maddy & Declan's Story (Chapter 15)
This is a great opportunity for Declan. At least I'm pretty sure that's what I'm supposed to say. To be honest, it's more than a little strange for me. And awkward. Mostly because of what just happened. Probably especially because of what just happened…
Yes, I told my stepbrother that I had a sex dream about him in the confessional booth at our church. Except to be fair, I didn't know he was there. How was I supposed to know that Father Patch went on vacation and left Declan in charge of the church for a week?
And, um… speaking of that…
Is that even a good idea? Please don't get the wrong idea. I like Declan. I trust him, too. It's just… I don't know… I'm having an incredibly difficult time thinking of Declan as a spiritual guide.
I'm not even going to lie about it. I mean, I'm not going to tell Declan, either. I'm just finding it hard to think of Declan as a priest when I had a dream about making love to him just a few hours ago. I'm very hung up on this dream, too. I wish I confessed, except I did confess, except I made my confession to Declan and…
He's much too attractive to be a priest. Where's that even coming from, Maddy? You've known Declan was going to be a priest for over a year now, and all of a sudden he's too attractive to be a priest? That's also kind of judgmental, don't you think?
I need to write this down so I don't forget, because I definitely need to go to confession when Father Patch is back. A little part of me nags at the forefront of my mind, though.
Why can't you confess to Declan? Isn't that exactly what you just told him before? I distinctly remember myself saying, “I bet this happened for a reason. It's one thing to confess our sins, but it's another thing to deal with them, and what better way than to confront them head on. Right?”
I don't want to lie. Not to myself, and not to Declan, and not to God. I don't want to be the type of person to say one thing while I mean something else, and even worse I do something completely different from both of those.
So… no. I'm going to deal with this head on. I'm going to accept the fact that I had a sexual dream about my stepbrother. I will confront my inner demons, if I even have any, and I will conquer them. And I'll help Declan, too. I promise.
It's easier said than done, though. Temptation is the root of all evil, right?
I left Declan at our church. He told me he needed to go through some of the papers Father Patch left him. He has detailed instructions on what to do in our priest's absence, and I don't want anything bad to happen because of my temporary crisis. I don't want to be selfish. I want to be good. I want to…
On my walk home, I decide to do the most obvious and best thing I can do at the moment. I take out my phone and text Declan.
He texts me back a second later. I'm glad for it, but it also seems really quick. Wasn't he reading what Father Patch left him?
It's a weekday so this sort of makes sense. Father Patch is usually around in case we need him, but most of the time he lets us send him a text or an email of we want to meet up and talk about something that's bothering us. I think it's easier that way, and it seems like a very contemporary thing to do. I even helped him set up a separate cell phone number so he can keep church messages separate from his personal ones. Not that I really know what kind of personal messages a priest gets in his private life, but I think having your own identity is important.
He's Father Patch, but he's also–
I'm not actually sure. Wait. Does that mean that Declan can be Declan, but he can also be… Father Calhoun? I guess that's what he'll be when he's a priest.
I text Declan again. Because. I'm sorry.
His reply is slightly slower this time.
Alright. Good. I think it's good. I can do this. I can do this for now, at least. I don't know if I can do this forever. I'll try, though. I am really going to try, God.
Please give me the strength that I need to face today. I think I might need it.
Things are sort of getting back to normal. I thought it'd be fun to have a slight calm before the next storm, haha. I'm excited to see them come together more soon, though. I think you'll enjoy it a lot, too!
If Maddy is the least of Declan's worries this week, then maybe he'll make it out alright. Remember, Father Patch left him in charge of the entire church, though. There's definitely more people who are going to need help, and I'm not sure they're all going to be as sweet and innocent as Maddy…
Stay tuned for next week's chapter!
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