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*** ETHAN

Yeah, so, I really just need to calm the fuck down for a little while. Seriously, today's been way too fucking crazy for me. I'm used to going hard with football practice or games or whatever, but this is too much. I expected this from Scarlet, but not from Brittany, and especially not from Ashley. Pretty fucking sure they're all going to kill me eventually if they keep this up.

Is this part of having a girlfriend? Having to deal with her crazy ass friends, too? This is my own damn fault, isn't it? I'm the one who introduced them to each other. Kind of, except I think technically Caleb introduced Scarlet to Ashley. That makes this his fucking fault, too. Fuck you, Caleb.

I just need a break. A quick break to chill and get back to normal, which is exactly what I'm going to do. After a quick stop off to grab my notebook and pen in the common room we blocked off, I head to the elevator so I can get back downstairs. Maybe this is going to bite me in the ass, because the last time I left the dorms I couldn't get back in, but Caleb's here now and I really fucking hope the girls have learned their lesson.

How the fuck did I become the responsible one here? In what fucking world does that make sense? Seriously.

I've got a friend in the elevator, too. It's Jamie. She smiles when she sees me, all peppy and chirpy or whatever the fuck you want to call it. I don't know.

“Hey Ethan,” she says. “Did you get everything cleared up?”

“Yeah,” I say. “Basically. It's all cool now. Thanks for helping out.”

“Sure! Anytime. Ground floor?”

I nod. She already pushed the button before. We're both going to the same place, I guess.

“Hey, um… can I ask you something?” she asks.

In my experience, when a girl asks if she can ask you something in the way that Jamie just asked me, it's trouble. What can you really do, though? Say no? Uh, yeah, that's not how this works.

“Sure,” I say, because I'm pretty fucking sure that's literally the only thing I can say right now.

“Caleb, um… he doesn't have a girlfriend or anything, right? I know he said there's a girl he likes, but, like, that's not the same as having a girlfriend, but still, it's like… I think he's pretty cute and he seems really nice, and…”

I cut her off right there. “You know what?” I tell her. “No, he doesn't have a girlfriend. And you know what else? Yeah, he's a nice guy, but he's never going to get a girlfriend if he keeps doing stuff the way he's doing it. So basically, yes. Do it. You have my blessing. You might have to seduce the fuck out of him or something, but I'm pretty fucking sure if you can do it, then he's yours. I believe in you.”

That's my inspirational speech for the day, or at least for this elevator ride. Also I don't know if I believe any of this. I'm kind of using reverse psychology, except maybe not? On Caleb, I mean. And Scarlet. Not so much Jamie.

Basically, my thinking is that if Caleb realizes there's another girl interested in him, maybe he'll give up his insane dream of dating Scarlet and putting her on a pedestal. I get that they're best friends or whatever, but seriously man, she's a girl like every other female.

And also if Scarlet realizes that Caleb isn't going to wait around for fucking ever, maybe she'll actually go after him. She could use a little competition is what I'm saying. Jamie over here can provide that.

Or else if all that fails and Jamie succeeds then Caleb will have a cool girlfriend at Ashley's college. It's not the worst thing ever. I've got a girlfriend at Ashley's college and I think it's pretty fucking great, actually. Yeah, it's Ashley, so, uh… you know. But still, it's cool. This is a good college to have a girlfriend at if you ask me.

Jamie looks happy, too. She beams and sways the way girls do, all fucking rainbows and sunshine over here. It's pretty cute. Seriously, Caleb, you should date this girl and have sex with her. She's pretty cute. Scarlet's, uh… she would be cute if she didn't look like she'd kill you in your sleep. That's usually an issue in any relationship, don't you think?

“What are you writing?” Jamie asks, pointing at my notebook and pen.

Fuck. What floor are we on? Can I just get out of the elevator and ignore her?

No. No, I can't.

“Just something for Ashley,” I say.

“Is it a love letter?” Jamie asks.

“Kind of?” I offer, vague. “I thought, uh… it's like a love letter but maybe a love poem, and… it's supposed to be sweet but also a little sexy and kind of inspirational, and…”

“Awww!” Jamie says, gushing. “That sounds cool. I like love poems a lot. Have you read Love and Friendship by Emily Bronte?”

Holy fuck. This girl gets it. I'm changing my mind from before. I think Caleb should definitely date her. Sorry, Scarlet, but you lost my vote. Maybe not really. I'll need to think about it more, but I still like Jamie a lot now.

“Yeah,” I say, all casual, trying not to freak out. It's hard. I never knew I could get so excited over poems by Emily Bronte. “Actually, I'm doing a paper on that one for one of my classes. It's a cool poem.”

“What's the paper about?” she asks.

“It's experimental,” I say, because I think that's just what you say. “Basically, uh… I think the poem is a cover, and Emily Bronte was secretly kind of a sex freak, and also I'm pretty sure she had some kind of kinky BDSM relationship.” Jamie gives me a look and I'm not quite sure what it means, so I add, “With the stablemaster. Her and him.”

“Really, do you think so?” she asks, suddenly excited and intrigued. “Because I always thought there was more to her writing, and I could totally see something like that being the case. It was a different time, so they'd have to be more subtle about it. Oh my God. I really think you're onto something! Can I read your paper when its done? It sounds amazing.”

I feel like this is a turning point in my life. Don't get me wrong, I love Ashley, and that was also a turning point in my life, but… so Ashley would read my paper no matter what. No offense, Princess. That's just the way it is. It's like a girlfriend tax or something. She has to do it.

Now I have someone wanting to read my paper out of pure, unbiased interest. I don't even fucking know what to say about that. My mind is blown right now. What the fuck.

“Is your love letter poem going to be done by tonight?” Jamie asks me, still excited. “There's this like… I guess it's a creative talent competition? For the art tour that's here this weekend. It's for fun, so there's no winner or anything, but you can sign up and do a presentation if you want. You could read your poem to everyone.”

“Yeah, I think Scarlet mentioned something like that,” I say.

Did she? I don't remember. It sounds familiar. To be completely fucking honest with you, it's not something I ever would have thought about before, though. Not as far as reading a poem I wrote.

But why the fuck not?

“I was going to go anyways, so if you're reading your poem that'd be cool,” Jamie says. “I bet it's great.”

I'm not so sure about that one. I don't have time to say it, though. The elevator door opens and we get out. Jamie prances away, waving bye to me.

Before she vanishes into the sunset or something, she shouts back to me, “Have Caleb call me, please?”

I nod at her. Don't even fucking worry about it. I got this.

Maybe I can finish my poem, too. Maybe I could read it to Ashley in front of everyone at her school.

Huh…